Caregiver Depression

It is pretty common.  I'm sure I have it.  I know that I am supposed to care for myself or I will not be able to care for others.  It is just a hard thing to do.  I haven't been caring for myself at all lately and the care I have been giving my mom shows that.  Time for some sort of plan. 

I read this article on caring.com and it made too much sense and it was scary because I think I recognize all the signs.
Who? Me? Depressed? 5 sign of depression you may not expect

1.  Hermit Tendencies
Oh yeah, I recognize that one.  I have not wanted to leave my house in weeks.  I have to take my boys to games and school stuff and to grocery shop but believe me, I don't want to do it.  I would rather not.  It seems like nothing can excite me enough to want to leave the house.

2.  Flubbing the caregiving details
Uh huh.  I have forgotten to give meds, forgotten to pick up supplies, haven't been able to remember the bathroom schedule, not done the p/t... I know I can take care of this by writing everything down but that would just be too much effort.  Really it is about being tired and not having the energy to do the caregiving.  Also, I am so grumpy and I don't really feel like helping anyone.

3.  Thoughts that reflect a sense of hopelessness - about your life
Yep.  I feel like I am going to be stuck in this situation forever.  I know this is untrue but some days it feels like it.  I end up feeling sorry for myself and then I throw a pity party.  I usually follow the pity party with a guilt trip. 

4.  The "Caregiver Creep"
I stress eat.  I take comfort in sugary yumminess.  And I haven't exercised in months.  I can't even think about working out with out getting tired out.  I should go to the gym but I think I will take a nap first.  You know, rest up before the big event.  I think a simple walk would do me good.

5.  Can't remember being happy
I know that I have a good life and I have a beautiful family.  I don't totally hate all of my life.  I haven't been at peace lately though.  I haven't been able to relax.  I think the last time I was really relaxed is last December at the GWL with my boys.  I can't say that I am unhappy and hate life.  I know I can feel better though and that's what I hope to do. 

I wanna get happy!  Summer is almost here so I know that will make things a little easier.  I'm running for the happy bus, train, or whatever it is.  OK, I am only walking because the thought of running makes me want to sit down and take a rest.  Slow that train down!