Yes, I said it. I am tired of being the boss. I am tired of telling my mom what to do. I am tired of having to tell her every little thing she needs to do. I am tired of telling her every little thing she needs to do three or four times before she does it. I know it is the Alzheimer's. I know it is no fault of her own. It just gets very tiresome.
I feel like I am becoming the crabby old teacher. Do this. Do that. No, do it this way not that way. Argh. I keep thinking, just breathe and relax. It is okay. It will be okay. Every once in awhile I catch myself thinking that it will get better. Problem is, it will not get better. I know that it will not get better.
So I begin each day with a fresh start and a new attitude. Some days the new attitude lasts longer than other days. Some days it doesn't even last until coffee time. So I try for a laugh. Any little laugh will make both of us feel better.
