Friday, November 5, 2010

The photo does not lie...

I just saw a photo of myself while out playing with my kids at a local corn maze.  Ugh.  I look not so good.  I would say awful.  I look tired.  My hair looks old.  My wrinkles are getting deeper.  I hate to say it but I look depressed.  I hate to say this even more, I feel depressed. 

It is the beginning of the depression season for me.  Dark days.  Wet days.  Achy body days.  I don't feel like I was ever completely out of the depression this year though.  Usually I feel much better during the late Spring, Summer and early Autumn but this year I feel like I never felt that great.  Heck, I would take feeling good right about now.

So anyway, back to the awful picture.  I know that I was look a little rough but I had no idea.  I look in the mirror as little as I have to.  I know I have gained weight but seeing it in the photo really hit me hard.  There are also the things I cannot see in the mirror, the extreme headaches, the achy joints and the anger that I can actually feel oozing from every pore.

I know what I have to do.  I have to lessen the stress, take care of business, get back to some sort of exercise and start eating better.  Will I do this?  I do have a tiny bit of hope.  I bought a book about beating depression.  I would love to beat depression.  Beat it with a baseball bat.

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